The Definition of Marriage

Marriage is Friendship

When I met my husband I was not looking for a man, a relationship, or a companion, I was just chilling.  I was open to dating and meeting men that were typically not on my radar.  However, the day my husband saw me, it clicked in his head that I was the one.  For me, the day I met him I knew there was something different about him, so I pursued the friendship while he pursued the relationship.  We openly discussed seeing other people when we first met, and I even encouraged him to continue his normal routine and just let the friendship/relationship develop naturally.  He assured me that he had found who he wanted and was not interested in others. To keep our friendship in tact, I step out of my role sometimes as his wife and give him friendly advice so that I do not sound like a nagging wife.  We take time to work on our friendship by taking rides down a country road to talk and take in the openness of the road.  We have some of the most genuine conversations when we are riding.  My husband is my friend first, and that’s what keep our relationship going.  Things have not been perfect but I do know that it has been a continuous effort to communicate, love, and respect one another.

Marriage is Leadership

The Bible clearly says that women must submit to their husbands as to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22). In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. (Ephesians 5:28).  A man is expected to be the leader in his house and that can be a difficult task when a man is not feeling 100% in his efforts.  His lacking could be due to life changes, but that does not make him less of a man.  There are other ways to lead so we have to learn to pay attention and speak the language that appeals to his ego.  The same goes for men, they too have to speak the love language of their wife to keep to romance alive.

Marriage is Followership

I am all for following when I must follow, but that goes hand in hand with the situation.  The act of followership is acknowledging your weaknesses and not being afraid of letting your beloved take the lead when you have no true direction.   When you lean on each other in marriage, there is bound to be some incidences when one spouse will have to be the strength that you both need. The two of you cannot be the boss all of the time. In areas you are weak, you have to surrender control to your spouse and let them navigate you through those times. Be vulnerable enough to follow, and don’t let pride stand in the way. Sometimes he leads and I follow, sometimes I lead and he follows and we play our roles respectfully.

Marriage is Compromise

There is never an ideal situation where one person will always get their way. Even when there is a slight possibility that things, decisions, circumstances, results, etc. will not be in your favor, always be prepared to compromise.  Doubt leads to poor choices.  Greed leads to blind choices.  Deception leads to hurtful choices.  Lies lead to broken trust.  Talk about things that matter to the both of you so the right compromises are being made and are not detrimentally forced.

Marriage is Hard Work

I fall in love with my husband every day.  We recommit ourselves to being married because mistakes have been made.  It’s not always easy to look at someone who upsets you, or at times misunderstand you.  It’s not always fun to sleep beside someone that has their own viewpoint about things and when the both of you are talking, neither one of you is listening.  It’s difficult to be so RIGHT in a situation, but you have to let the other person win the argument.  Marriage is dedication, determination and HARD WORK!

Don’t ever let someone tell you that it is just a piece of paper.

~LaTilya Rashon

Twitter @TilyaRealEyes


2 thoughts on “The Definition of Marriage

  1. Cecilia Tyson Jackson

    I love your writing. I enjoyed looking at how you saw things growing up. Many of us was done the same way but as a family I have always wished we all would have a big family reunion and pull together. This is such a wonderful story of your life. Keep up the good work. The world is waiting to hear from you Tilya!😘

    Liked by 1 person

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