Relationships and Influence

I have had to take back my life more times than I can count.  I have learned that by totally immersing myself into other people, ideas, and a life that is not my own becomes confusing and outright tiresome.  So when you “reclaim your time” and “reclaim your life” by setting boundaries on what is acceptable for you and your holistic existence you are much better off.

We all have situations in life that reshape our perspectives and some of the deepest emotions we feel are placed on a shelf because being vulnerable never suits us at the right time.  When you feel your internal shelf begin to crumble and something inside of you is breaking, that is time to regroup.

When I came across the idea that we are the products of our experiences, that thought resonated with me because people hold your trials against you.  It is unfortunate that when some (people in general) experience bliss it brings pain to others but we learn day by day that that is all a part of life’s cycle.

Relationships come in many forms and we learn through the seasons of love, dislike, contentment and disappointment how we should care for others during those times.  Resentment is not a mainstay and in these great words you have relax, relate, and release.  When our lives seem to be unraveling before our eyes and we are trying to plant a sturdy foot one in front of the other we find ourselves stumbling.  We stumble in love because the very thing that breaks our hearts also keeps us holding on.  Love is a part of every relationship and the catalyst that forces change inside of you.  Changing what you will and can no longer accept.  When relationships begin to fall apart we settle for contentment because it is better than not having certain people in our lives.  For two years I was content with the separation from my first husband because I held on to the love and felt that the love would be restored. I had hope that we would put our family back together again.  My high hopes quickly turned to disappointment when he said he didn’t like the word marriage.

Disappointment interrupts your sleep patterns and make you obsess about things that are out of your control.  You overthink and put on your pretty face to make yourself believe that you are truly okay.  The rebuilding of yourself after a failed relationship changes your perspective.  Sadly while you grieve your loss people stand by in waiting judging you for how you cope with your feelings then have the audacity to hold your feelings against you.  In a conversation with my sister (we were married to brothers…LOL) I said to her people are not the authority on how you live your life.  Too many people think they can dictate how you receive them, but unless they know your full story they need to learn how to respect your boundaries and let you live.  They are not allowed to interject on your well-being especially when they don’t know what you have survived.

We are all reborn from something.  It’s like getting a fresh start.  We are reshaped and influenced by our decisions.  There is no crime in wanting better and wanting more.  Closed minded thoughts will not make way for creating the life you want to live.  Relationships of the past, the present, and those to come will guide our steps in life as we become centered in our individuality.

We are not self-made.  We are the reflections and results of relationships and influence.

~LaTilya Rashon


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